I just wanted the title to spell YAML, fool.
Why I write these reviews
Welcome to my usual “year in review” blog. If you’re new here, let me explain: every year, I commit to sharing my experiences, wins, and failures in public. Why? Because I believe transparency helps me grow and hold myself accountable.
Maybe you’ll find something here that resonates with your own journey — or at least feel less alone in yours. If not, I don’t care that much, bye.
Kidding. Seat down, grab a coffee (or something stronger), and let’s ride this roller coaster of a year together.
Introduction: the roller coaster begins
I started last year’s blog with this phrase:
“So… 2024 has come to an end, one of the most difficult but also beautiful years of my life.”
Hah. I was mostly wrong.
2025 has been among the most difficult years I’ve faced — on so many levels. It was a true roller coaster, taking me even further from the serenity and stability I was (and still am) seeking. I made it through to the end, but at what cost?
Reflections on 2025
The hard parts
Life hit hard in the second half of the year. I lost people I trusted, dealt with several personal conflicts, had a promotion snatched away, and felt stuck in a mental place I feel I don’t deserve to be in. On top of all of that, I experienced OSS (open source software) burnout — yes, it’s a real thing.
I pushed too far in 2025. My body is doing okay, but my mind? It’s on the verge of a system failure, lol.
Content-wise I didn’t create any tech-related articles, videos, or anything else worth noting. That was a deliberate choice — I don’t see it as a failure, maybe a minor setback. I simply dedicated my time elsewhere.
I am not blogging as much as I did in 2023, but and this might (or might not) change in the future. I could also get back to my YouTube channel project, too. Or not. I won’t commit on any content creation in 2026, I might have discovered that consistency is not my stronger trait in this domain. Or maybe that (tech) content creation is not something I am really passioned about, which is also fine. I’d gladly be a guest on some video/podcast, that would be sick.
Career & Open Source
The first part of the year was all about adjusting to my job and navigating big tech’s “bureaucrazy” (not a typo), plus attending conferences and making a lot of OSS contributions. That work even landed me an award from the Kubernetes community — getting recognition is pretty cool, but never the reason why I do something.
The second half of the year, I spent grieving my old self after another failed relationship. I could have achieved so much more without that distraction. But more on life lessons later. I also decided to pull back from the OSS world after summer. Zero open source presence. Niet.
I (basically) got myself a promotion — or rather a diagonal move — after 11 months at the new gig.
Despite all the “Oh no, you cannot move that fast in big tech!”
Take this is my “Shut the fuck up, cunt. Yes you can.”
I know I should be happy about it, but I’m definitely not. Not yet, at least.
On the conference side, this year has been packed with 11 talks around the globe, lots of program committee work peer reviewing CFPs and I am absolutely stoked of what I achieved there. Now it’s time to retire a little bit from the conference circuit. Leave some more room to youngsters. Coach them even.
But first… Let me speak at the same conference of Steve Aoki in 2026. Wow. This is a true achievement that belongs in my resume.
Music as my creative outlet
On a brighter note, I created new music this year — from vocal covers to the debut EP of my new band: Devoid of Beauty.
I missed screaming into the microphone, and no one will ever take that away from me again. Not even myself.
Our debut EP will be out in 2026 and we will try to get some gigs sorted for the summer period, after recording music video(s) and doing some good old promotion work.
Social life & health
Social life has been reduced to a minimum. The Netherlands doesn’t exactly offer amazing communities to connect with — unless you plan to make networking a full-time job. No thanks.
I’m grateful that my loved ones bear with my lack of physical presence and are okay with me disappearing from their radar time and time again. A huge thanks to the few Netherlands-based friends I have. You make this bearable.
My health is holding up. I’m still missing two teeth from mosh pits. Yes, I now wear a mouthguard at concerts, but I still throw elbows and take hits. I’m getting older: hair is going grey faster than I’d expect, but at least people have finally stopped thinking I’m too young to be taken seriously at work. Perks.
What I wanted to do in 2025
Enough with the self-reflection. Let’s see how I did against my resolutions from last year.
-
Work in a company with good culture ✅
Ups and downs, especially when Mothership (Microsoft) is involved. But overall, better than many places I’ve been. People are cool; some company policies, a bit less so. -
Take some days off ✅
Took 3 weeks off and traveled to Japan! But I had to work on a conference demo and presentation. Ugh.
-
Be at peace with not finding a place to call home ✅
I have a better idea of what I want in 2028, when I’ll leave the Netherlands. Traveling a lot helped. -
Publish new music and/or vocal covers ✅
Done, done, and done. Proud of myself on this one. https://medium.com/media/a0f7d60f29ab30d608b930d3ce1eb2a8/href -
Get fit 🟡
The second half of the year got much better (thanks, breakup). I cook at least 2 meals a day now, do some meal prep, and junk food is drastically reduced — ordering only ~3 times per month. -
Don’t stop learning ✅
No Rust, but more Kubernetes (especially Release Engineering). Learned a ton about AI internals. Yes, I sell AI (for) now. Sigh. -
Give back to the community ✅
Mentored 5 people on their careers. Already started 2 new mentorships for 2026. Super happy to see my mentees getting what they deserve. Want me to mentor you? Check out my MentorCruise page! -
Learn more about diversity and inclusion ✅
A perk of big companies: communities of belonging and being surrounded by diversity every single day. -
Enjoy money a bit more ✅
Saving rate was high (~50%), but I also spent about 20% more than last year. More trips, more fun, and a huge vacation in Japan. Good job. Looking at this list, I realize 2025 wasn’t as bad as it felt, but I still feel bad about it.
I powered through. I did the work. I’ve been a good cog in the capitalistic machine. (Remember kids: no kings)
I honestly always struggled to find joy in any of my personal achievement, but even more in this environment and geopolitical climate. War wages in Ukraine and Palestine is still experiencing a genocide in plain sight, even after the “ceasefire”, makes it very difficult to enjoy anything at all. I also hate on the Italian (fascist) government. Which is being absolutely terrible but people are too attracted to slogans and can’t look at the data. Left wing is non existent and only thinks about splitting the parties even more over their “superior” morale dwellings, I hate them even more. On the bright side I think we have some hope with Mr. Mamdani in NYC and Rob Jetten in the Netherlands. Some countries (or cities) are realizing that voting right wing is mainly good for industries and hardly for people. Good.
What I learned this year
I (do not) apologize for the slight tangent. (Deal with it.) Here’s what I learned during this annus horribilis:
- Burnout is sneaky. You can keep delivering and still be running on empty. Recognizing this is the first step.
- **Relationships (kinda) matter — **but so does your time. Not every investment of energy pays off, and that’s okay. Redirect it.
- Creative outlets are non-negotiable. Music saved me this year. Protect the things that keep you sane. Pour your soul into it.
- Give yourself credit and try to enjoy things regardless. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you could be making progress. Two things I’m truly proud of: I showed up for my loved ones, and I made music that matters to me. That’s more than enough.
p.s. First year winning Whamageddon. YAY.
What I want to achieve in 2026
Time to look forward. Here’s what’s on my list for the next ride on this roller coaster:
- Get (actually) promoted or promote yourself by finding a better-paid job
My professional pride really wants at the very least that Senior title after 10+ years in tech and delivering a ton of value wherever I end up working. I could even think to go back to engineering — I’ve refused quite some solid opportunities there. - Keep taking (more) days off
Longer vacations are a habit I want to keep. Maybe a trip to discover Africa or South America next? - Go to (fewer) conferences and travel (less)
I’ll be at KubeCon EU, MWC Barcelona, and any strictly mandated work events. If you see me at a conference, no you didn’t. Don’t bother me unless you want to ask about my company’s products. If we are friends, you have my number, we hang out aside from the conf(s). - Start planning to move out of the Netherlands in 2028
Visit my future country/city, start exploring the housing market, maybe learn the language in advance, and research taxes and bureaucracy. - Get fit(ter)
More gym, more biking, keep eating healthy. No need to bulk up as I don’t want to be a main target in the mosh pits, lol. Plus who the fuck cares about big muscles when you have functional ones? - Start drumming lessons
I want to learn a new instrument. Bonus: it keeps me fit(ter) and I won’t be needing to get mad if our new drummer leaves. I can already write drums, I can probably play some and sing. - Do a small Northern European tour with Devoid of Beauty
Wishful thinking, but Amsterdam, Antwerp, Berlin, London, Milan, and maybe Helsinki or Oslo seem doable. Just need to find a bigger band to tag along with. Time to get back to music networking. - Keep enjoying money at the same pace
I’ve been to 15+ concerts this year, across Europe and the US. I’ve seen 50+ cool ass metal bands playing live. Can’t wait to see more next year. I also had a big ass vacation in Japan and even a couple of days here and there where I enjoyed my friends’ company and the beauty of Japan, its temples, food and culture. - Keep investing smart(er) Sell those Microsoft stocks straight away, and invest in my usual portfolio. I might also invest some more money in myself and my side business, to scale it and make it more profitable with less maintainance. My interview-practice website is a viable option to scale my mentorship efforts, I could also find ways to scale up my consultancy keeping the same number of working hours.
The roller coaster continues? Hope not.
Phew. We did it. Another year passed, whatever happened, happened. It is what it is. C’est la vie. And whatever other cliché they say these days. I will keep pushing through next year with the main job, the side job, the music and everything in between.
This year really tested me: mentally, emotionally, and professionally. But I’m still here, still breathing, still making music and doing the work.
Did not even enter club 27, dammit. Sorry Kurt & co. I’ve actually been to Seattle and bought an old Nirvana vinyl, at least.
My next stop might be 33, who knows lol.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. I hope something in this post resonated with you, and if it didn’t I’m very happy life is kind with you.
One last self ad: I’d love to help you on your tech career journey, if you need that little push: book a session with me on MentorCruise →
Find all of my links 👉 here.
That’s all for now and probably until end of 2026. Ciao!
Originally published on blog.mb-consulting.dev